Being right feels wonderful. Life would be sweet if every time we disagree with someone they would bow to our superior intellect and admit they are wrong. Since that seldom seems to happen, we learn how to argue, debate, bully, cajole, guilt trip, whine, seduce, deceive, punish and reward the ones we love to get [...]
“Outer experience is a reflection of inner reality.”
What is a projection and how do we know we’re experiencing one? Projections happen when we experience an internal out-of-balance emotional reaction to a person or situation then blame that person for our reaction. Any time someone pushes our buttons, in the positive or the negative, we [...]
It’s a good idea to love yourself. It’s easy advice to give and so common it approaches cliché. When we take a good look at what it takes to truly love ourselves though, we find it takes faith, courage and willingness to change. We can begin to look at what it takes to love ourselves [...]
Work, school, relationships, and family obligations can all pull us in different directions. When something happens to upset us, we can feel out of balance and uncentered. How can we find our center? There is so much pressure to accomplish and do things. How can we learn to be a human-being instead of a human-doing? [...]
1. Notice the anger. When you feel yourself going into upset, notice. Your attention is a very powerful force for change. Get out a pad of paper, a pen and:
a. Write the anger out onto the page.
b. Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, even words.
c. Don’t think, feel. This is less of an intellectual exercise; it’s [...]
Being assertive means being self-aware, knowing what you want, connecting to your genuine Self, and then believing in your right to ask for what you want. You are aware of your basic rights as a human being, and you give yourself the same respect and dignity you would give to another person. Being assertive is [...]
One of the most precious gifts we can give another person is the gift of our attention.
Sometimes when you talk to anther person, it’s obvious when they are nodding, thinking of the next thing they want to say and are waiting for you to take a breath to say it. Holding a loving, safe space [...]
Having some fear is normal and is even helpful. A small amount of fear helps us remember to look both ways before crossing a busy street, or tread carefully around heights. Fear is caused by a real, concrete situation: physical danger, failing a test, or going bankrupt. The cause of anxiety is often more difficult [...]